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Tiger Beat, March 1968.
From a 1981 Japanese Monkees photo book.
(Pic via the Monkees Live Almanac.)

From a 1981 Japanese Monkees photo book.

(Pic via the Monkees Live Almanac.)

Hello! (Sorry to burden you with a trio of questions, but I'm curious) which Monkee do you think is the kindest (presently), which do you think has had the most constant and unchanged personality, and which do you think would make the best husband and why? m0ssytwigs

We’ll take this one question at a time…

1. Which Monkee do you think is the kindest (presently)?
Nez. It seems so unlikely, given his demeanor through his malcontent, hot-tempered youth, but Nez has mellowed out dramatically in his old(er) age. Every report we’ve heard from fans who’ve met him has been nothing but positive, and he’s really become this sweet, somewhat shy old Southern gentleman who knows just when and how exactly to be kind to people. So yes, we’d pick Nez out of the current Monkees.

2. Which Monkee do you think has had the most constant and unchanged personality?
Well, all of the Monkees have shades of their younger selves in their current personalities, though obviously to different degrees. But we’d have to say the most constant one would be Micky. It’s not only the fact that he looks damn near the same as he did 45+ years ago (just a bit older), or that his singing voice sounds almost identical, but Micky has always seemed to be the one who gets along with everyone—the “glue” that hold the Monkees together. Though he was a lot wilder in the ’60s and ’70s, his quintessential “Mickyness” has been constant throughout the years, and that is something for which we can all be grateful. Yes indeed.

3. Which Monkee do you think would make the best husband and why?
Oh, boy. Well…not for anything, but asking this question is sort of like asking, “Which slice of day-old uncovered American cheese is the tastiest?” Because they’re all pretty much the same, in a sense. Let’s look at the facts: All of the Monkees have been/were married three times (now four, in Peter’s case). At least three have cheated on their spouses at one time or another, and in one instance, fathered a child out of wedlock (“her name was Nurit…and she liked it when I did that thing with her feeeEEEEETTT…”). Anyway, yes. Marrying one of these guys would probably not be unlike bringing home a puppy: He’s all cute and adorable in the window, but the second the ring’s on, he’s peeing on the furniture and chasing after the miniskirt-wearing French poodle next door. (No wonder Bob Barker recommends neutering your pets. Sheesh…)

Hey, I'm just wondering how seriously I'm allowed to take Monkee articles from 60s magazines (16, Tiger Beat, etc). Obviously I've been taking them with a pinch of salt considering there's a lot magazines aren't allowed to publish, especially about the Monkees having fights etc and their need to keep relationship stuff sensible for a younger audience. But, for example, in the 'Monkee Talk' articles there's a lot of good quotes, are things like this likely to be directly from the boys or made up? its-peter-tork

Hi there! Well, we consulted with bethpurple on this, as she is our resident Teen Mag Expert and has read a great many of those “Monkee Talk” articles. The thing about these teen mag articles is that, at the time when they were all being written and the mags were being put out, the Monkees were almost nonstop busy touring, recording music in the studio, and filming the TV show. So it’s very unlikely that they would have had time to sit down and write full articles for the mags. What most likely transpired, though, is that the teen mag editors or writers sat down and interviewed the guys, and then culled together the quotes from those interviews, cleaned them up a bit/elaborated on them (based on the writers’ own observations), and then all of that put together became the finished article. (The other giveaway is that if you read the Monkee Talk articles carefully, the “voice” in them all sort of sounds the same. If Micky, Peter, Davy, and Mike had written articles themselves, odds are good that the voices would’ve been much more distinct, and you could more easily “hear” each of them in the writing.) Hope that helps! 

Hello! I was wondering how young each of the Monkee's girlfriends have been (like the ones with the biggest age gaps between them and the girls) m0ssytwigs

Well, from the relationships and dalliances that we know of, all of the Monkees clearly have a variety of ages in the women they’ve dated. But of the confirmed girlfriends/significant others that each Monkee has had—and let’s be honest, we could all use a color-coded flow chart at this point, though it would probably look something like this:

image                                   By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.

—the two Monkees with the greatest age gaps between them and their girlfriends/significant others have been Nez (he married Victoria Kennedy in the year 2000, when he was 58 and she 32, giving them a 26-year age gap) and Davy (he married Jessica Pacheco in the year 2009, when he was 64 and she was 32, giving them a 32-year age gap).

So we would say that the largest age gap between the Monkees and their girlfriends/wives has been in the 30-40 year range. Hope that answers your question!

Hi. I was wondering if you had any of those "candid" monkees stories you could tell me about (or at least direct me to a source) -- sort of like the one you had written here about when Davy peed in the beer bottle (y'know, silly stories like that). Thanks peter-dorkk

Hi there! Well, we’re not exactly sure what you mean by “candid” (though we are aware of the story in question). Although that story comes from a personal source, we are not aware of a specific source online that has Monkees stories. We do have a few tags here on the NP Tumblr that contain Monkee shenanigan stories from over the years, however. Your best bet is the #groupie tales tag, the #hugs not drugs tag, and the #the monkees didn’t smoke pot what are you saying tag. Hope that helps!

We here at NP would like to wish an early very Happy Birthday to rock n’ roll photographer extraordinaire Henry Diltz! Henry was the official photographer for the Monkees, and is seen here holding one of NP’s own Monkees Condoms that were sold at the Monkees Convention earlier this year!
Henry Diltz also photographed and befriended numerous other musicians and artists in the Laurel Canyon music scene of the ’60s and ’70s, and is a hilarious and awesome human being overall. 
Happy Birthday (tomorrow), Henry!! ♥

We here at NP would like to wish an early very Happy Birthday to rock n’ roll photographer extraordinaire Henry Diltz! Henry was the official photographer for the Monkees, and is seen here holding one of NP’s own Monkees Condoms that were sold at the Monkees Convention earlier this year!

Henry Diltz also photographed and befriended numerous other musicians and artists in the Laurel Canyon music scene of the ’60s and ’70s, and is a hilarious and awesome human being overall.

Happy Birthday (tomorrow), Henry!! 

Hello! I was wondering what sort of qualities, aspects, and 'types' the Monkees like and/or have when regarding women patronofprostitutes

Hi there! Well, we’ve actually been asked this question previously, so we’ll go ahead and repost our answers for you. (And remember, you can always check out our Monkeesexual Compilation Posts and/or our #ask np tag to see if your query’s already been asked/answered!)

Davy: Davy loves being at the same height as a vagina. He enjoys a tall girl, so that he can stand between her legs and look up like he’s scaling a mountain. She doesn’t even have to talk in complete sentences or know what day of the week it is…just give that Midget a tower of legs to climb, and he’s happy as a clam.

Micky: Micky likes blondes. And also blondes. In the words of someone who knows what’s what: “If it’s young and blonde, Micky want to penetrate it.” Micky also likes to be able to make a girl laugh, and it helps greatly if her top happens to fall open while that is happening. The quickest way to a woman’s heart is through her areolas, don’tcha know.

Peter: Peter enjoys someone with whom he can have philosophical discussions, but he also enjoys doing this naked, and baked as a cake. He also likes being baked and naked WHILE baking a cake, but that’s another story. Peter is not opposed to an empty-headed bimbo, as long as her mouth is full (you can guess what we mean by that). Also, boobies. Peter is fond of the boobies—in any size, shape, whatever, just as long as they are there.

Mike: Nez likes blondes with an intellectual side, and it also helps if you’re fertile. He likes to procreate, is what we’re saying, and his super Nezsperm can and will probably get you pregnant just from him looking at you. He also likes a woman who can cook chili in the nude. While quoting Proust. Backward. In Iambic pentameter. 

Some middle-aged Justus Monkees for your Thursday.

(Pics via Al Bigley/Big Glee Archives.)

More sad news today, this time from Monkees world: Actress Arlene Martel, who starred in two episodes of the TV show (she played Madame in The Spy Who Came In From the Cool and Lorelei in Monstrous Monkee Mash) has passed away at the age of 78. The news comes from Marc Cushman, with whom Arlene had appeared to promote a series of Star Trek books written by Cushman.

You fool, it was not my kiss, but the magic necklace!

♥ R.I.P. Arlene Martel, 1936-2014. 

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