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Hello! I was wondering what sort of qualities, aspects, and 'types' the Monkees like and/or have when regarding women patronofprostitutes

Hi there! Well, we’ve actually been asked this question previously, so we’ll go ahead and repost our answers for you. (And remember, you can always check out our Monkeesexual Compilation Posts and/or our #ask np tag to see if your query’s already been asked/answered!)

Davy: Davy loves being at the same height as a vagina. He enjoys a tall girl, so that he can stand between her legs and look up like he’s scaling a mountain. She doesn’t even have to talk in complete sentences or know what day of the week it is…just give that Midget a tower of legs to climb, and he’s happy as a clam.

Micky: Micky likes blondes. And also blondes. In the words of someone who knows what’s what: “If it’s young and blonde, Micky want to penetrate it.” Micky also likes to be able to make a girl laugh, and it helps greatly if her top happens to fall open while that is happening. The quickest way to a woman’s heart is through her areolas, don’tcha know.

Peter: Peter enjoys someone with whom he can have philosophical discussions, but he also enjoys doing this naked, and baked as a cake. He also likes being baked and naked WHILE baking a cake, but that’s another story. Peter is not opposed to an empty-headed bimbo, as long as her mouth is full (you can guess what we mean by that). Also, boobies. Peter is fond of the boobies—in any size, shape, whatever, just as long as they are there.

Mike: Nez likes blondes with an intellectual side, and it also helps if you’re fertile. He likes to procreate, is what we’re saying, and his super Nezsperm can and will probably get you pregnant just from him looking at you. He also likes a woman who can cook chili in the nude. While quoting Proust. Backward. In Iambic pentameter. 

Some middle-aged Justus Monkees for your Thursday.

(Pics via Al Bigley/Big Glee Archives.)

More sad news today, this time from Monkees world: Actress Arlene Martel, who starred in two episodes of the TV show (she played Madame in The Spy Who Came In From the Cool and Lorelei in Monstrous Monkee Mash) has passed away at the age of 78. The news comes from Marc Cushman, with whom Arlene had appeared to promote a series of Star Trek books written by Cushman.

You fool, it was not my kiss, but the magic necklace!

♥ R.I.P. Arlene Martel, 1936-2014. 

Micky’s giving Coco Chanel a run for her money with those sunglasses…
(Pic via the Monkees Live Almanac.)

Micky’s giving Coco Chanel a run for her money with those sunglasses…

(Pic via the Monkees Live Almanac.)

NP Proudly Presents:

Have you ever wondered just exactly which Monkees episodes are the slashiest? Or which pairings get featured the most in any given Monkees episode (or even the entire show)? Or just exactly how hard the Monkees accidentally-yet-delightfully ship themselves? Well, look no further, because we at NP are about to bring you…

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…Yes, that’s right, children: We’ll be taking you through the whole Monkees TV series and breaking down each episode* moment by slashy moment. This post series will include Most Predominant Pairing (the Monkees slash pairing that is featured most in the episode); Slashiest Monkee Moment (the slashiest moment of that particular episode); and Hotness Highlight (a screencap or gif of our favorite slash moment in the episode). 

So keep your peepers peeled for the first post in this series (all posts will contain three episodes apiece and be tagged with #monkees slash manual), and if you’re diggin’ what you’re seein’, make sure to give our posts a “like” or a reblog!

*For the purposes of this feature, we’ll be going in order of air date, rather than filming date (so basically, the order of the episodes on the DVDs). Also note that we will not be covering the Pilot episode, because, well…it’s the pilot. Just FYI.

Ever wonder what it would’ve been like if all of the Monkees were English, got lobotomies, and had their live show in the ’60s powered by the tears of children and fluffy animals? This video answers that burning question…

which of the Monkees smoked and did drugs? bluejay--way

Well, in terms of smoking, all of them except Micky partook at one point or another. Peter and Mike were mainly social cigarette (or in Mike’s case, cigar) smokers, but Davy was the one who was a habitual smoker, at least in the ’60s. Here are a few pictures of the guys smoking:

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…As for drugs, erm, well…they all did drugs, in the ’60s and beyond. The drugs the guys did in the ’60s were primarily pot and/or LSD (acid), but reportedly Mike’s drug of choice then was Ritalin (but he did smoke a lot of weed in the ’70s). There are also multiple anecdotes of the “Black Box” that was built for the Monkees on the set of the TV show so that they could smoke pot “away from the prying eyes, ears, and noses of the curious” (from Micky’s book). Micky also wrote in his book about how much pot he smoked in the ’70s, and Peter went into slightly harder drug territory and actually did cocaine briefly (but he got completely clean and quit all drugs and drinking around 1980/1981).

So hopefully that helps to answer your question. The lovely psychojello also has a gallery of a collection of pictures of the Monkees smoking (both cigarettes and other things). You can check that out HERE

…And the same thing goes for Christmas.

…And the same thing goes for Christmas.

thank-your-lucky-stars:

From a Japanese Monkees photo book. 
Via The Monkees Live Almanac. 

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